Hold a space for hard feelings

Somewhere in the last year or two, my friend Roxanne and I started using the phrase “the saddies” as a playful way to talk about the times we just feel sad or blue. As in the following recent exchange:

Me: "I had the saddies last night, after talking to my parents."
Roxanne: "I bet you did."

For context, my parents are, to put it biblically, advanced in years. So our calls and visits are often bittersweet – probably for them too.

Acknowledging hard feelings is both helpful and necessary. Why? Because it takes away some of their power. Tough feelings don’t have to define you. And of course they don’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.

Above all, hard feelings don't need to be "corrected." Surround yourself with people who get this – and maybe gently release the ones who don't.

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“We men and women are all in the same boat, upon a stormy sea. We owe to each other a terrible and tragic loyalty.”
― G.K. Chesterton